Problems in Abidance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_u3VP7aApw

 we've been saying it is seen after

abiding the nature again

backfires with full force demanding

again too much involvement and overtakes

can it be considered as ignorantly

seeping in yes so very good question

there just like i said we can continue

the discussion that nature overpowers

this

individual there is no individual there

is no will but we can forget about these

things because totally practical issues

here so the nature will put put you to

sleep that is that is what you are

calling is backfire and the stronger the

desires are the pending desire so they

are very strong the sleep will be more

frequent and will be deeper and once

this

all this is settled

when the dust is settled you wake up

again

what happened there i forgot to be in

knowledge now my guru is going to very

angry i wasted my two years and so on

but by the time nature has done her job

whatever was spending

so to avoid this kind of extremes what

do we do i mean i have told this many

many times fulfill your desires think

that they are my desires and fulfill

fully knowing they are not mine and i

don't have any control over the fruits

of this desires so

it will not backfire that much

it is like

steam engine you see or you can say

pressure cooker if you let out the steam

time to time it is not going to cause uh

explosion of ignorance there will be ups

and downs which is very very normal we

have no

we we are not that stubborn that

i want awareness 24 by 7 non-stop

otherwise

i'll do something bad to the nature no

it's not possible that is ignorance

again it settles down on its own

on the one hand you have the body mind

full of desires

on the other hand you have the

experiencer neutral peaceful blissful

has nothing now extremes is to be

avoided both should happen with tiny

amount of you know the pressure builds

up you neutralize it somehow and the

mother nature will let you kindly to

remain in awareness isn't it

we have this delusion this creature has

this delusion that i can command

awareness no it comes automatically and

it goes automatically the abiding even

that is not in our hands our means this

illusory individual does not do anything

so that should be understood and then

you remain peaceful instead of you know

waging a war with the nature it's not

possible to win actually so always an

agreement

i have to hold this many times isn't it

if you find reside there not it is not

to be suppressed because there is nobody

to suppress first of all and if the

intellect has some kind of distortion it

will try to suppress and then you know

what happens especially if the means are

provided it must be fulfilled that means

this time has come it was best thing to

happen and then the fruits must be taken

that also being in a pose of surrender

at least you have little bit of control

over the actions and desires but you

don't have any control over the fruits

and that should be a major question

instead of what should i do when abiding

stops automatically how can i stop the

ignorance from coming back these

questions are childish the big question

is can i avoid the fruit of my actions

when this happens

and the answer is no they also must be

surrendered it isn't they are not my

fruits you see this abidance should be

there at the time also because nature

will do its thing you see ultimately it

wins and if you forget to

be in awareness

when the fruits are coming that is very

bad

their nature is not saying that you

don't abide there the nature is not

clouding your vision now

so

you have full freedom to observe the

fruits knowing fully that they are not

mine and the actions that happened in

darkness were also not mine you see the

awareness is independent of time you can

clear that accumulation that happened in

darkness in the time of light it's

possible

this is called repenting

some of the traditions repent or it was

an error and so on but

we don't call it like this we say

forgiveness forgive yourself because it

is not you who is doing it shema bhav

sakshibha they should be together

so if you fail to be in awareness at the

time of action at least you should be

aware during the time of fruits so it is

not the actions that are painful it is

the fruit

it is not the action that binds you it

is the fruit that binds you especially

if it is positive the bondage is

complete perfect if it is negative there

will be a reason to detach but if it is

positive you are gone like a fly on the

fly trap very sweet

some kind of sticky sugary thing and the

fly wants it but it's trapped so the

suffering is a blessing in disguise it

frees us but the happiness traps us

so all this fruit should be seen equally

while being in awareness and they should

should be seen as not mine and that

brings the equanimity automatically

as long as you consider the fruits as

yours action is not mine i am not

responsible

but the fruit is mine so that is a big

problem then that means that ignorance

is not really gone you are still in the

night time the day has not

started for you

so we should avoid the extremes so that

the fruits are not extreme that much can

be done you see any intelligent person

will do that

it is like if you're very hungry you

overeat and then that is not pleasant

and the hunger extreme hunger was also

painful and this overeating that

happened also painful to avoid these

things what do we do keep eating little

bit

bite by bite

mohan is asking i see that most of my

actions are driven by desires warned for

something i have noticed that without

desire i mostly end up with inaction can

there be any action without desire no

there cannot be any action without

desire you see desire is the motivating

force in the universe

it is also called the will will of the

universe so whatev whatever you are

thinking is my actions not your actions

and whatever you're thinking is my

desires it's not your desire so if they

if they are not there no action will

happen which is perfectly okay it's not

our problem then

if there is a desire action will happen

not my my problem is not mine witness it

witness the action and witness the

inaction because both are impermanent

they do not last and many people will

say inaction is also action because you

have decided to not do anything there

the desire is don't do any of your usual

things sit quietly is the desire

you see the desire cannot be avoided

there is never a time when there is no

desire it's never a time

you must be thinking today i've done a

lot of work lot of action now it's time

to relax and sleep for eight hours you

know that is the desire then the desire

is to sleep and relax and that is what

will happen that is the action

whatever you are thinking as

procrastination is simply resistance to

whatever

impression has are stored in the mind

you know there is internal fight there

the impressions are telling you to not

do anything and probably there is a fear

that i'll fail if i don't do anything or

there will be bad time ahead if i don't

do anything and so on or the intel

intelligence it is fighting back so

and then there is not anything to do

with desire or action that is a sign of

darkness in you that is a sign of total

ignorance

somebody with knowledge is pretty much

certain of what to do

if he wants in action there will be

inaction which is already in action

isn't it but he will never twist it to

mean as procrastination that means

that

distortion has happened in the mind then

that means there is an internal tangle

there

because a person in the knowledge is

very happy when there is nothing to do

very happy and if there is work to do he

is very happy and finally it will get

done there is desire now

so the one in the bliss will find the

bliss in everything and the one in

ignorance has nothing but suffering

he will is going to suffer the action he

is going to suffer the inaction that is

guaranteed