Doer and Doing. Children, Parents and the Body

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6vh-jrdBcw

there was one question that it is very

obvious that no one is the doer

and the receiver of the doing

then who is the supreme doer

and what is the purpose of doing

now but the things are happening and so

who is doing it what is it that is doing

it

okay i answered in this way and there is

no do where there is doing

and now

this is language problem probably that

we do not

say doing if there is no doer

we say it happening

we say it as it is happening

not

the

doing

so is something to do with the language

so there are two questions you know

who is the supreme doer and what is the

purpose of doing

now the second question is redundant

because all you need to show is that

there is a supreme doer

and then you can

let the supreme doer

have any purpose

they have they want the wish

so the second question will disappear if

we show that there is no supreme doer

it is kind of amazing that people think

like this

that everything needs to be done

everything needs to be created and

everything

must have reason

it is amazing that we think like this

and most of the people they do not

come out of this

attitude

for the whole of their lives

it must be doing of something isn't it

and then the religious kind of people

they will export the reason

into the sky somewhere

where it belongs

properly

and the spiritual kind of people those

who you know

read a lot of scriptures and all

they will export it to the karma the

theory of karma cause and effect

how it happened

it is the doing of this and that

impressions

sanskar and all

and

i must have done something wrong that's

why i got this fruit

it is the doing of my own and so on

this is kind of spiritual view

now these these are all half truths i'm

not saying they are totally wrong

it can be explained like this

but half truths half of it is wrong

can somebody guess

can somebody guess here

what is wrong with the

concept of supreme doer now yes the

individual doer is gone thrown away the

deserves you know the person deserves a

medal for that

not my doing and not my karmic things

somebody is there but

something is turning the wheels

so can somebody think of an answer to

this question

the how can anything happen without it

being done

you can you know put a name on that

mother nature is doing everything

even i say many times you must have

heard that mother nature is doing it

there is some

something very interesting that happens

and the body is doing its thing and

people think that i am doing it

and then they say

this is being done by mother nature

because they cannot let go of this

concept

of

doing and doer and they need to export

it somewhere

and that's why i also say

it is happening

when a child is born

the parents take the responsibility

oh it is my doing

we are responsible for the birth of the

child

and therefore the child is on my

property now i own it just like i own

other objects now it is

good from the social point of view

because our society is based on such

concepts of

endure doing responsibility

and position

otherwise this society will fall away

can you can you imagine

i i was shocked i'll tell you a little

bit of story because this is our you

know satsang

that um

i heard osho one day i was he was i

think i read it or he was talking

he said children

are the property of the society

in his typical voice you can imagine

very slow voice

so i was shocked

actually i came to know that this is

always the case this is the truth the

osho said this and something clicked in

my mind i said yes

there's so much truth in that you see

when you hear some some some of the

things like this for the first time

what do you hear

well it

looks like it was always true isn't it i

always knew these things and thanks for

reminding me

something something like that that

happened

and

that is because the ownership of the

child is taken up by the ego

by the ego of the parents it is not a

doing of the parents

it is happening

i'm i'm you know straying away from the

proper answer because you already know

the answer isn't it we have repeated

this thing so many times now you know

these answers

so i'm taking you in

different direction just

something new

so i realized oh yes it's right so true

the parents don't own the child

the child belongs to mother nature and

no nobody's going to donate their child

to mother nature because what is that

what is the view of mother nature for an

ordinary person

the jungle

the hills the rivers the birds and

insects

oh well it's so sad

it is very sad

we have cut down the mother nature into

a tiny thing

which is which we capture in photographs

and post it on twitter

so it is very sad

everything is mother nature

so the children they belong to

everything actually

now you cannot tell this to the parents

isn't it they will be furious

how can you take my property away

so

no we should not do this don't go to an

ordinary person and tell them oh your

three sons they don't belong to you you

don't have any control over them okay

let them go

and now that the father is going to kill

you

so osho did not go all the way probably

he did who knows he's osho but he he

stayed in the middle he said the

children are a property of the society

it's not parent's job to raise them or

to claim them as their own

society should raise the children

society should claim them

what is society then is the organization

of people only so not one person will be

made as owner of the child

his view is like this

and i immediately agreed somehow because

probably tired of my parents so

any teenager will do that you see

i don't want this parent so they don't

they don't have any right

to tell me what to do how to behave how

to talk

how to dress

so

until you become a parent you will have

this kind of attitude you see as soon as

you

become a parent you will start doing

exactly the same thing that your parents

do

it is very interesting that

this is a common ignorance among people

that they own

things that are happening naturally

even that

so

no we don't own anything

though we don't create anything

we don't do anything

nothing at all why

because there is no owner it is egoic

thought it's hot in the ego the

ownership the claim

is the tendency of the mind this is what

we call call ego

that is that is what generates the

identity in the eye

and the eye includes all these things

so it's very hard to come out of this

attitude

i think gaurav has a comment khalil

gibran

also said the same thing

children come through you but they don't

belong to you

exactly exactly

now i took the i i took this example of

a child because it's very shocking isn't

it

parents don't have any claim on the

child it's very shocking to hear these

things

the parenthood

is like walking on a sword sword's age

yes i know it is not mine

still i need to treat it

as if it is mine

can you see

now here

is spirituality in daily life for you

those who think they're in their life as

a parent or child is a mess it's not

spiritual

they should listen to the following

your body

is not you now every every seeker you

know even a newbie seeker knows this

every uh your body belongs to you

not true isn't it belongs to mother

nature again

we still take care of the body as if it

is mine as if it is me as if it is my

part

who is this v

who is this i who is taking care of this

body which is not i

look at it it is also happening

only that it is twisted in the mind

somehow

there needs to be a doer

to take care of the body otherwise it

will die

notice that this idea is totally absent

in animals

the

that which is taking care of their body

at the body and the mother nature all

three are one there in an animal

you can check you can look at a bird

it is the mother nature acting as a bird

the bird is not thinking i need to eat

balanced diet in order to be

healthy

i need to live long no

this madness

appears only in humans because of our

inflated ego

we own the body we think it is me that

is height of stupidity

and we we say

i am responsible for the body

now this is one extreme

and the other extreme is i am not the

body

it will be taken care of

somebody will do it i'll just go and sit

in the cave and you know whatever

and this is another extreme

so the middle path is

that you disown the body

give up the ownership and you still

act as if you are the body and you you

are responsible for the maintenance of

the body

this is spiritual attitude

this is how

a sane person lives

in both the extremes are insanity

so this came from buddha actually when

he gave up eating and almost died

and then he realized no no

this is madness and then he started

eating

so he gave that was a big learning

experience isn't it

so it is happening the body is happening

and the spiritual life is

realizing

realizing nothing is mine

still doing that which needs to be done

still acting as if it has it was

mine

this is how we play

so what will happen if you do something

like this

i don't guarantee it you know don't

take my word for it

but all the problems of your relations

will disappear this is my experience the

relation

of a parent and child

will become a relation of a friend

not somebody who owns somebody enslave

somebody

but a friend and a child will not see

you as a

commander

as somebody under whom

they must live

and they do will not fear you

the respect comes

should come

out of love not out of fear

you must have seen this complaint is

there many parents will say my children

they don't respect me don't obey me

so the problem is

you have never done anything to earn the

respect

simply because you think you were

responsible for bringing that child in

the

world

which is stupidity isn't it if if this

ignorance is there this will be the

result

what if you thought that it is just a

gift of mother nature

that has been given to me

so that i can take care of this

it is like looks like i'm reading from

some book isn't it so but they are not

wrong

uh if you experiment like this treat the

child

as a friend especially when the child

can starts understanding a little bit

and you will you will see that in the

face of the child and they'll be nobody

likes

slavery

not your own child will like to take

orders from you nobody likes this this

is human nature actually

but friendly attitude and they will do

everything that you have

that you

asked them to do it must be your own

experience

that i am actually diverting somewhere

else but i want to give you this

uh example of spirituality in daily life

how to apply

what osho said

how to apply that

should i should i donate my child to the

society somewhere

and that is stupidity isn't it society

is a mess already

you don't want to do that

what he meant was do not own the child

you see

it must be your your own experience that

your siblings your cousins or your

brothers and sisters

will never never do what you say

and will never support you and will

laugh at you if you fail

and if you if you if you are successful

they will be jealous of you they will

laugh again but your friends

they will

bury the body isn't it this old saying

is that a friend will bail you out of

the jail but the real friend will help

you to bury the body

so

they are like this

whatever you want they will do it with

you they will support you in doing

whether you are digging a ditch or

whether you're robbing a bank your real

friend

will be there helping you out

what kind of relation is there with

that you have with your friend

which you don't have

with your so-called blood relatives who

own you

who have the leash

in their hand

what is what is the difference here

a difference is ownership

see

i'm not the doer

this knowledge is lacking in a parent

that's why no friendliness that's why

there is a quoting of the sticky mess of

relation

where there should not be a relation

except that of a friendship

if you take a look at society

if you take a look at the successful

relations the happy kind of relation

you won't find a bit of relation there

all you find is friendliness

they're friends

the father and son is friend mother and

daughter are friends

they want to stick to each other they

want to live with each other

it's not that they're avoiding each

other it's not they're fighting

one combining the other

in friendship you don't need to command

you see

you need to

put your wish there i i want to watch

this movie and your friend will be there

with two tickets let's go

have your parents done that

never

probably never ever

so

probably more more you grow up the less

they will

want to do things that you like

no friendship there

what is the typical image of a parent

they feed you as if

you see they're feeding themselves

and

they will put you to the torture of the

school and they want you to be a doctor

always you see nothing more than a

doctor as if a lawyer is somebody rich

you see

this is the

problem in india that they will even

want you to marry somebody they like not

not somebody you like

somebody that can make their social

status higher

so this is a big problem here in india

even though we call this a spiritual

country the spirituality is totally

absent

from everyday life it is total ego ego

dominated

the message is

this

that

there is no doer

so you can export the doer to

the ego to the body to this to that to

just even to the supreme doer you can go

on doing it

but it makes no sense

because

it is happening

it is happening

how to how to implement that in

a day-to-day life

just like osho said give up ownership as

much as possible

now the question comes

again how am i going to you know

do the

things if i'm not the doer who is going

to take and the thing is

it will happen

whatever

your mental state is whatever your state

of knowledge or ignorance is

it will happen the same thing will

happen with this knowledge that there is

no doer

but try this experiment it's a life

experiment you see i don't guarantee

anything try this

and give up the ownership and see

what is the result see what is the

result

cannot be described properly i think i'm

doing a bad job of describing it

but

mostly you take ownership of the objects

it's okay it's not a big thing

and the ownership of people

that is deciding

the quality of your life isn't it people

are the problem in your life isn't it

you have everything

you just

click here and click there and

everything is delivered to your home

now the people are the problem they

don't do as you tell them to do they

don't behave

according to your wishes

why because the stickiness of ownership

i am the doer he's the doer and he is

responsible for my mental condition

the blame game you see

so

and there is a very good teacher young

man

roger castillo i that that line reminds

me of him always and he explains it

beautifully

this concept of doer

most of our troubles come out of the

concept of doer

what will happen if you export the doer

in the sky

call it a supreme doer or this do or

that

your misery is not going to go away only

the cause will be you know something

more distant which you cannot see only

can imagine the doer is imaginary right

here right now

it will remain imaginary

if you assume it to be somewhere else

if you name it supreme

or

if you

write theories and theories about it

read scriptures and scriptures about it

it's not going to work

giving up the doer

will bring a little bit of peace

it will relieve you

your mind will be unknotted kind of this

thing entangled

or finally i don't need to worry about

the responsibility

something like this will happen your

body will relax

immediately

will it work in the society no

no it won't work don't donate your child

no don't

that is not good

so donate the other things which you

don't need you see and you don't need

the child probably and child needs you

it's a question of survival now

so

you need to take care of the child as if

it is your child as if it is

you possess these things and so on a

guru will possess a student

employer will possess

employee

and your prime minister possesses

everybody

this is how society works he owns the

country isn't it

this is how the society works

the thing is it will happen in a

friendly way

a background of friendship not of the

ownership just like you take care of

your friend all the good and bad desires

of the friend are your desires isn't it

let's do let's do the thing this thing

and you are always ready

you bang the school you bang the college

and you are always ready now i don't

think those who are in job and families

now and now the friendship has

become something else those who have

more money and social status are your

friend now

anyway so

this is how friendship is it is selfless

no ownership that's why friendship is

the you know

a purest of the relation

selfless

so i give a non-traditional answer to

who is the doer i hope it was more

entertaining than the old boring answer

there is no door